Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Things I learned from...

...CHILDBIRTH CLASS.

1. Women love to vent, and men are squeamish

2. 80s pregnancy videos are the best (especially when they involve pregnant women in over sized overalls with Winnie the Pooh T-shirts, and men in all black with cross necklaces and mullets.

3. Rolling pin. When preparing for the hospital, pack a bag and make sure to include items such as a change of clothes, baby outfit, ROLLING pin...wait, ROLLING PIN? Yes, the video told us to pack a rolling pin.

4. If you attend childbirth class at 26 weeks, you are a dork! All 12 other couples were in their last month of pregnancy. That's what I get for being a planner :)

5. Slow dance for relaxation technique. According to the video, "a great way to relax is to sway. You can slow dance with your partner to your favorite song." Riiiiiiggggghhhhht, I'm gonna do that during labor.

6. Mike doesn't know a lot about woman stuff.

Mike: "Labor is seriously more than 12 hours? Are you sure? I thought it was like 4..."

7. Funny joke. After listening to the video say "the baby then navigates through the birth canal, which is S shaped" it then proceed to show the baby impossibly fitting through this S shaped thing.

Mike responded to this with, "haha...okay, that's a funny joke God..."

8. Warning message. Videos should REALLY consider putting a warning message right before the actual birth of the baby. Yikes!

9. Mike is going to pass out during the delivery. While watching the delivery section of the video, I looked at Mike and he face was a little white and he was breathing really deeply and slowly opening and closing his eyes. I really thought he was going to faint...and it was just the video!

I hope you found this childbirth lesson very informational! Stay tuned for highlights from next weeks last childbirth class session...


Addition: People have been asking about the purpose of the rolling pin. I believe it is meant to be used for "massage" purposes. "Massage" was one of the relaxation techniques they gave :)

17 comments:

Renee said...

That is hilarious and is all so true! Mike will be fine. Tyler is about as sqeemish as they come and he has survived 3 c-sections with me! Keep us posted...I can't wait to hear what you learn next week!

Sarah said...

LOL! So funny!! What did they say the rolling pin was for?? I'm so curious!

B and C said...

Oh dear... the idea of watching childbirth makes ME squeamish. Poor Mike. I'm sure Ben would react the same way.

ps- you should dress in 80's clothes for your next class.

Gregory said...

Such good memories...I am really enjoying the thought of Mike in birthing class. Sounds like we had similar experiences.

Thanks for the laugh. And tell Mike he will be fine, just focus on the face and let the doc do his thing.

lyndsey said...

LOL. and seriously...what is the rolling pin for??

Crystal said...

After watching the childbirth movie, Jake told me he thought he needed to go the old fashioned route and just sit in the waiting room. Those movies are pretty awful.
What's with the rolling pin? I'll be sure to put one of those in my bag. Ha ha!

Angela and Mike said...

Everyone...I believe the rolling pin was for massaging purposes. "massage" was one of the relaxation techniques :)

Baldersons said...

26 weeks...wow you are a planner! If it makes you feel any better Jimmy was nauseated during the classes but in the real thing he was a great labor coach!

Amanda J said...

Ha ha I've heard of using tennis balls, but not a rolling pin. Which childbirth classes are you taking?

Hannah said...

OH my goodness...I am dying laughing at Mike! 4 hours...

And, the S-shape has never quite worked for me, since both of mine have ended up as C-sections despite my efforts...so for me it is impossible!

Oh, and for the record, swaying does actually help :) On my way to the OR, I stopped in the hallway and hung on whoever my nurse was at that point and swayed! Kind of like how you need to shake your finger if you pinch it in something...ha ha!

The Woods People said...

I preferred to sit on one of those big exercise balls and sway instead of on Casey!

Anderson's said...

That is pretty funny. You are good, I never even took a birth class!

andrea.roche said...

oh dear me. Trev refuses to go to classes. Apparently, I'm missing a lot of valuable info. Please keep filling me in. It's too bad we aren't near each other..Trev and Mike could hang out during the labor. They apparently share the same sentiments.

In all seriousness, tell me anything new/valuable u learned. I'm scared to death.

Jill said...

Yeah, those movies are pretty overwhelming. But hey, you've watched Mike get stitched up a few times. He owes you.

You'll do great. And as you are out and about in your daily routines, look around. See all those people? Someone gave birth to EACH ONE!

Tara said...

That is hilarious!!! By the way...tell Mike, birth isn't gross and scary and disgusting (like in the video) in real life. Espcially when it is YOUR baby. It is pretty amazing.

the gregory's said...

you are so funny. My cutest little nerdy friend!!!:)

becca said...

hahaha. I want to print this out and read it over and over again. Everything made me laugh! My favorite part from MY childbirth class was when they said, "A well-placed mirror at the time of delivery can give the mother that extra incentive to push the baby out." NOOOO Thank you. I'll push, but I don't want to watch. Blah!

And I've had four babies. FOUR! All without the rolling pin.

:) You're gonna do GREAT. With all that running you do, the baby's gonna just glide right out. :)