Saturday, March 21, 2009

A day in the life of...

ANGELA and COLTON ROSE

The past 24 hours in review:
Hey, speaking of 24, I actually also turn 24 on Sunday!

(NOTE: I love Colton dearly, just not the way he eats. Read on to see why.)

11 p.m.- Go to bed (Mike put Colton down)

11:45-12:45 a.m.- feed Colton (45 mins), pump (10 mins), supplement with bottle since he didn't get enough (5 mins). Colton is one of the slowest and most inefficient eaters, hence the extreme time commitment.

12:45-2 a.m.- Help Colton fall to sleep

2-4 a.m.- Sleep

4-5:15 a.m.- Feed Colton, pump, supplement with bottle

5:15-6:30 a.m.- Sleep (sleep total up to 4 hours!)

6:30-7:30 a.m- Feed Colton, pump, supplement with a bottle and put Colton in bed next to me

7:30-9 a.m.- In denial about having to get up for the day. Sleep on and off.

you get the idea...

My day continues with this same 2 1/2 to 3 hour cycle of hour eating sessions, pumping, supplementing with bottles. By the time I'm DONE with the whole feeding thing, it's usually been more than an hour and then I only have about and hour or so left until the NEXT feeding. Colton drips milk all over me, so I usually smell like milk as well as being drenched in milk. He also smells like milk and often needs a change of clothes from dribbling the milk all over himself with his weak latch. He requires complete attention while feeding, I can't look away, do anything else, sleep, or relax for longer than 30 seconds until he needs my help again. Then after all this feeding which lasts 40 mins, he still needs more food since he hasn't gotten enough.

I also forgot to mention that during eating, Colton kicks me and growls at me when he's not falling asleep or pushing off me!

It's almost been a month of bad eating, and if things don't improve in the next week...Colton and I are going to have to work something else out. My patience is wearing thin and I can't keep doing this, I'm going crazy!

C'mon Colton, mommy would really appreciate if you showed some improvement.

22 comments:

Brooke said...

Oh Angela! You poor thing! What a patient mommy you are! I'm sure Colton appreciates you! I hope he gets better at eating. Maybe he can have a little chat with Ryan because that boy will eat ANYTHING, and a lot of it too!

Also, Zach finally bought a car so I have a car during the day! I will give you a call Monday to see if we can stop by (between feedings of course, haha, so that gives us, what, 15 minutes or so?) :)

Renee said...

I feel your pain as I have failed miserabley nursing all 3 of my kids! I am thinking it is not even worth a shot this time around! Hang in there...and be reassured that formula is not a bad thing just expensive!!!

McGiven Family.... said...

I am so sorry Angela. My personal opinion is that if it is that miserable and that hard, nursing is not worth it. I know some people are die hard set on it but I just think being sane and getting sleep is more important. I didn't have enough milk for both boys so I ended up strictly pumping. I did that for 4 months and they always got a bottle of half breast milk/half formula. I stopped at 4 months and looking back wish I would have stopped sooner. You have to do what is best for you! Good luck! I hope he improves!

Renee said...

Ang, if you need someone to cry to about failure in breastfeeding... call me! I can totally relate and know how frustrating it can be! You and Colton just MIGHT get the hang of it, but if not, it's not the end of the world! I am thinking about you and am serious when I say call me if you need to chat/cry! Hang in there!

Baldersons said...

I'm sorry Angela...I feel your pain...that sounds exactly like my nursing experience with Sophie. I hung in there for three months since that's the best time for them to get the milk, then switched to formula and it was so nice to not be spending all day (and night) nursing or pumping. I'm sure you'll figure out a good routine eventually with Colton!

janner said...

This sounds really hard, Angela! You are exhibiting superhuman strength and patience, and you are doing it all out of love for your little baby. You are a great mom. But you know what? You need some rest. I promise one way or another it will get better. Either the nursing will get easier, or you will decide that it might not work this time around. I'll let you in on a little secret: I never nursed Christopher. It just didn't work. I talked to La Leche people, and tried and tried, but it wasn't happening. So he ended up being a bottle baby, and turned out just super! Then I successfully nursed all the next four kids no problem and loved that too. The point is, no two situations are the same, you can't try to compare yourself to someone else. And you just do what is best for you and your family. You guys are terrific and you have such a beautiful little boy. Just breathe a little, and know we all love you! Happy Birthday too!

P.S. Gotta love that milk perfume!

Aaron and Chels Allred said...

WOW! so this kind of scares me for when my baby comes. because i love my sleep. haha. But im sure it's so rewarding. he's so cute!!!

Crystal said...

Hang in there girl! While newborns are so cute and wonderful, they're also THE WORST! We love them dearly, but they put us through total hell. I hope this period of no sleep doesn't last too long. Fin was a horrible lacher-onner for about a month and a half and then he totally got the hang of it. It's a lot of stress, good luck. I promise he'll figure out how to eat better soon. Ugh, I still have nightmares of those first adjustment months with babies. The worst I tell you, the worst!

Jill said...

You are just amazing. I absolutely love you and appreciate the tremendous sacrifice you are making for your "inefficient" little eater. Nothing stays the same forever, though it feels like it...something will give (hopefully before your sanity). Just know that I support you 100% in whatever works best. You have been unbelievably patient. This challenge is way more than anything I faced with a newborn.

andrea.roche said...

This is the ultimate test of patience i believe. Angela, HANG IN THERE. You are not alone. Go to my friends blog..krisncath.blogspot.com. It WILL get better. And when it does, another problem will arise. THIS is mommyhood. hehe.

Just remember, your body is made for Colton. Meaning, ignore what everyone tells you and relax. Eat a ton. Drink a lot and it will work. Like my mom tells me, the pioneers didn't have formula to fall back on and they made it work. So granola. So true.

I know it's hard.. Just wait till their teenagers.

Anderson's said...

I am so sorry. Andi wanted to eat ALL the time. I don't know what kind of formula you use, but you might want to try gentle ease, or something that might be easy on his tummy. Also try gripe water. Good luck, don't worry it will get better.

Dan said...

Sounds amazingly stressful. Sorry I have no advice to offer on the subject.

Heather and Billy said...

It's true- welcome to motherhood. But, ya know...Colton is at the age where digestive problems really kick in. He sounds A LOT like my Kyle and he was even bottle fed. If he is kicking and pulling away when eating then his stomach might be hurting from gas or reflux. Hang in there and call or come over if you need anything or if I can help.

Hannah said...

First off, you're an amazing mother. Don't be too hard on yourself for being frustrated because it's completely natural, and it doesn't mean you don't love Colton because if you didn't love him you wouldn't care!

Secondly, I agree that you do what is best for you and your sanity. If you feel like you can hang in there, then I'm sure he'll get better eventually. But, there is NO problem in tossing in the towel if it will bring you more sanity (and sleep)! I really like Jan's comment. Whatever you do, every baby is different and you are the one to make the best decision for YOU and COLTON...no one else.

We love you! And yes, the milk perfume is a favorite :). At least Colton isn't spitting up all of his milk back on you too, right?

Jill said...

No matter what ANYBODY says, and I mean ANYBODY, it comes down to you and your baby and what works the best for the two of you. NO one has the right or responsibility to tell you what that is. Because no one else really knows. I've closely watched your parenting skills, and I've never seen a more dedicated new mom. Colton is so lucky to have you. I am so proud of you and glad Colton is getting such a good start on his life.

aandkhousewright said...

i totally feel your pain, ang! everyone said it's easier with the second baby but it's not so far for me. fortunately i remember from the first time that it doesn't last forever, and before you know it everything is easy and wonderful. my favorite time with brody was from 5 months to 10 months. it's such a happy phase for a lot of babies. i'm sure you've tried everything, but one thing i had to do when i nursed brody was cut out all dairy from my diet because it upset his stomach. now with brooke i'm having to use a nipple shield on one side to help her latch on. i promise it does get better and one day he will actually sleep through the night! believe it!

Renee said...

Dito to all that has been said but you can still call me! Don't let the lactation specialist make you feel guilty...their job is to try and help make nursing easy but if its not, its not! 801-766-3151

daisy said...

I used to work at Wic helping moms with breastfeeding. It is hard. And there is a lot of guilt that goes a long with it. Just make a plan of what you are going to do and how long, etc. (Where you have exhausted all your options you want to try). Then once you have done those things if breastfeeding hasn't improved you can stop without the guilt..... Knowing you have done all you could.
I'm sure you have gotten plenty of advice, but if you are looking for any more ideas email me at daisysuescott@hotmail.com.

Karen and Kevin said...

My heart goes out to you, I've so been there. Pretty much what everyone is saying is right on... this too shall pass and do what is best for you. Every child is definitely different. Mine are like night and day. GOOD LUCK!

McKay and Lindsay said...

So sorry Angela! Everyone tells me it gets better after 6 weeks, but that's when I threw in the towel. Lots of patience and encouragement probably help, but I ended up going to formula then and Peyton turned out just fine :) Nursing is wonderful, but please don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out. Coming from a Mom who did, it's just not worth it. Your love is way more important than how you feed them! Good luck!

Morgan and Emily said...

I was blog hopping and landed on your blog. (we have some mutual friends from BYU). I was having the same problems with a weak latch. I talked to the lactation consultants and they gave me a nipple shield. It's made by Medela - and it made ALL the difference. You can get them at Target. I was about to throw in the towel at 5/6 weeks - but now my son is 5 months and we're still going strong! You should DEFINITELY look into using a nipple shield.

JustinandKitara said...

My daughter Koryn was the same way. She would drip milk all over me and constantly pull away while eating. I started putting a burp rag between me and her cheek to catch everything she would drip. It worked wonders! No more milk perfume! As far as her pulling away, Koryn stopped after 1-2 weeks when my milk finally came in. I totally understand! I was very frustrating at the beginning, but it does get better. I ended up breastfeeding exclusively for a couple months and then I started supplementing with formula. It's not the end of the world to give them formula, and I feel like I enjoy my time with Koryn more now that I'm not stressing over exclusively breastfeeding her. Sorry this is so long!

Most importantly: Just enjoy the little one! They grow up so fast and I can't believe mine is almost 5 months old already!