Columbus is gorgeous! I love it. We have a river a mile from our house, a zoo, a neighborhood with sidewalks, a playground in the backyard...it's great! Our house is super cute, thanks to my parents to came up and did all sorts of work on it. Colton loves Columbus too. He likes going for walks outside, picking bark off trees, and swinging on his swing. So, he is doing well all things considered.
In the week and a half we've been here, we've already had 5 interviews/ meetings for Colton's therapies, 2 Occupational Therapy appointments, and another 3 meetings in the next week to get him rolling in the other therapies.
As for me?...well, I'm just trying learn how exactly to be me and handle all our changes. Do I tell people, or do I wait? Do I act positive and upbeat so people don't feel bad for me, or do I really let them know what I'm going through so they can support me? Do I want to make my life "Autism" or do I want to show a balance so I can have friends? No one wants to be friends with someone who is always whining and only talks about their own kids problems. How do I find that balance of being caring, giving, friendly, while helping others know the REAL me of what I'm struggling with. How do I relate to others? Being a mom gives you an automatic ability to relate to other mothers...but for me, I have different struggles/battles/ worries/ fears...it alienates me naturally and makes me feel lonely. How do I not feel lonely? I feel myself just wanting to withdrawl from everything...facebook...blogging...all of it because all I can think to post about is Colton, and don't want to push people away. Do I just join Autism support groups? How will Colton do with all the therapy? How much will he cry in protest? How much of that can I handle? How am I going to do implementing his therapies 100% of the time? Will I have the strength? How much is he going to improve? Will he start talking again? Well he ever relate to anyone other than close family? Will he ever have friends again? So many questions...
Overall, I'm optimistic about the future. I feel Columbus is the place for us for progress for Mike, me and Colton. But, in being honest, it's really hard trying to figure it all out and figure out the new "me" because Colton does change that now. I live IN this world, but I also have my own little Autism world which sets be apart and makes me have to see the world differently in order to understand Colton.
Okay, enough rambling for now!
(I kinda look prego from this angle, I assure you I am not)