Monday, June 13, 2011

The last 24 hours

I have 24 hours left in this house. Nothing brings on more emotions than moving. Moving is one of those experiences that forces you to reflect on your life. Every time I move, every move resurfaces and I find myself segmenting my life into all the different moves: moving to college, moving to my first apt with Mike, moving to Vegas, moving into our first home...

I remember the feelings of all my hopes and expectations, close that chapter and reflect, and look forward to the next chapter. This move is especially hard.

Allow me to recount the story of this house:

Mike and I moved into this house 3 1/2 years ago. It was our first home. We picked out every little detail and watched the whole building process. Mike and I would drive up 2 times a week just to walk through our concrete slab and imagine just were everything would go. "Here is where we will have our first baby's room"..."he will love this backyard...especially this hill, I bet he'll run up and down this hill," "we'll set up his toys right here!"
Finally, moved in and were as excited as could be. A few months later we found out we were expecting. We used to sit in Colton's future room and just dream up everything that he would be. I would picture rocking to him, watching him in his crib, playing with him.

In Feb of 2009 Colton was born. We were so in love. Colton filled our home with immense love and we became a little family. This house saw it all, baby Colton, the non-crawling Colton, the walking and talking Colton, the stressful mom, the laughs, the tears the joy and the love.

Colton was our dream come true. Just as we dreamed, Colton would run up and down the back hill, I would rock him in his chair...we lived and loved in every corner of this house.


Now here we are almost 2 1/2 years later. We've been through a LOT a lot. A lot has changed. I've spent recent nights at the side of Colton's crib, crying, confused, scared, just looking at his perfect sleeping face. How did this happen to us? Why can't everything just go back to the way it was? But with those sleepless nights have come peace and hope. My hopes and dreams for Colton have been put on a different path. It's a different adventure than what I had dreamed up for the past 3 1/2 years. But, we are leaving this house a stronger family. I have a stronger love for Mike. I have a stronger love for Colton.
He still IS my dream come true. He still is the light of my life and my whole world.

BOY oh boy oh boy how my heart aches for this kid. I hope that in a few years when I'm reflecting back on this next house, it'll be memories of increased understanding for how Colton works, progress, progress, and progress, increased faith in the Lord, a stronger testimony of the Savior, and a deeper appreciation and love for Mike.

Life is a funny thing. So slow, yet so quick. Nothing like you expected, but worse and better at the same time. So, Ohio....

READY or not, here we come!

13 comments:

lyndsey said...

ah friend. moving is hard. and you have seen a LOT of history in that little house. i remember when you guys were building it! good luck. ohio will be great!

Lori said...

Angela,
We will really miss you guys. But we know this is the right move at the right time. Please keep us posted. Facebook is perfect for that. We love you!! Safe travels. :)

Cummards said...

I hope you guys have a safe trip, and that the move goes as smooth as it can (I swear there is always at least one hiccup though!). I'm so excited for you guys and your next new adventure!

Sharon said...

I have every reason to believe that this next home in Ohio will see more love, more growth and more progress for your little family. You guys are the best!!

Renee said...

I am so excited to follow you on this adventure! Ohio is lucky to have you guys. Hang in there and good luck this week!

Jill said...

You are, among other things, a beautiful writer. Remember how I told you yesterday I'd gone all day without crying? Well, scratch that.

I have no doubt that you will find and make friends and beautiful memories wherever you go. Home is where the heart is, and you'll bring plenty of that with you.

ChanellR said...

I am always so sentimental and a little apprehensive when it comes to "change." You guys will do great. Watch out Ohio!!!

sam and brittney said...

Loved this post. It made me cry. I know GREAT things are in store for you in Ohio.

Crystal said...

I can't believe that when we get back from Utah you guys will be all moved to Ohio. We sure are going to miss you guys. Moving is always filled with so many emotions. Good luck with the big move.

Brooke said...

You are a great writer. I still don't think I have processed that you are leaving. We will miss you and Mike and Colton so much. You have brightened our days and blessed our family. I will always cherish the time we had together in this funny little town. Meeting at parks, pool days, dinner dates- I will miss it all. Good luck with your move! You will do great. There are more happy memories to be had in your cute Ohio home! :)

Hannah said...

Angela, what an exciting new adventure for you guys. I feel like things seem to work out in the perfect timing just like they are supposed to, so I have no doubt that Ohio will be a place where are all the things you listed will happen! Good luck!

Heidi and Rich said...

I felt bad for not having much of a chance to talk to you at the park. I have read through a few of your last posts. My heart goes out to you and your family... not in a negative way but with high hopes that you will be able to look back and see all the growth and progress that all three of you had made in the process. I loved being your visiting teacher (BTW I remember how excited you were about your new home and although we didn't want you to move I was so happy for you and all your decorating plans!!) and I hope you know that you and Mike were greatly missed in our ward when you left. I am sure that your current ward feels the same way. We will think of you often. I hope you'll keep posting about Colton's progress and how things are. You really will be in my prayers - you are a one of a kind person. Best wishes.

Karen the "Hungry Mom" said...

Jeremiah 29:11 is my favorite verse because it reminds me that god's plans are so much greater than my own, even when I don't understand them at the time. I KNOW your next house will bring you the hope, and the future that is perfect in a way only God can craft. Best wishes on a smooth move!!